Blarg!

I have doing pretty well doing the pre-op diet. I follow the guidelines and am getting used to it. I haven't even met my surgeon yet, much less have a date. I am doing this for me. So I know that I can do this, so I know that life won't always be a struggle about food.

So, today I get into the filing cabinet at work. Unfortunately, they store all the Costco goodies in the P-Z drawer. And there they were. Cookies. Three of them. Two oatmeal and one chocolate. The chocolate one is like the crusty part of a brownie. The only thing it needs it heat and butter and it would be AMAZING. They have been there for a week, and I have not had ONE SINGLE ONE. Until today. I am alone in the office, I open the drawer and there they were. Just a beggin me to eat them. So I did. And with every bite, I heard myself in my head "WTF are you doing? You are blowing it AGAIN! Why can't you just say NO. Weakling, you don't deserve to have surgery if you can't control yourself."

I am trying, and I know that 3 cookies can lead to a LOT of binging. So, I need to be very mindful for the rest of the day and not let that happen.

I go to my surgeon meeting on Friday, I need to really work it this week so he will see that I am serious about this. So I need to really think about what I am doing and why I am doing it.