Dealing with it

Today is hard. I think its harder than yesterday. Yesterday, the shock and numbness was there. Today, its raw and real. I feel it, I am sad all the way to my core. I cannot concentrate and don't care about getting anything done here today. I didn't eat so well yesterday, but I didn't go off on a bender either. I ate crap in moderation. Then I threw it away.

Today, I stopped at the store to get something to drink and instead of chips and chocolate, I got a little pack of beef jerky. Still eating to feed an emotion, but I am aware and made a better choice.

We still haven't heard from the bank on the house, but the sellers have tentatively accepted our offer. Now the bank needs to ok it. Now. I need something good today. I am ready to pack and get over there. I have plans for that house. It will be great. Really great.

On the weight front, I was up a pound this morning, but I figured as much after the sodium I had yesterday. I am working on fluids today, so I can flush them out soon. I know the beef jerky wasn't the best choice for help in that dept., but it was the best choice I could make at the time. I need to keep working on better choices and not eating to feed The Sad when it comes.