Day 2-Overview

This afternoon I will be going to the WLS Overview class. I don't really know what I am feeling. I just am ready to get started and be more proactive in my life.

I find that I am not very present in my own life. I hate fighting with people so I don't. I will say I'm fine, nothing is wrong. I blame myself for any disagreements. I hide my feelings and eat them when I am alone. I have been going through a quasi-rough period with my husband here lately. I don't even know if he knows we are in this spot. I feel like I have allowed myself to get so gross that he doesn't want to touch me. I feel like the kids, my mom and I demand too much of him and give nothing in return.

He keeps making back-handed remarks that they all need to move out, and I agree, they do. But.....I am tired of being told/reminded almost daily how much he wants them gone. It makes me feel like we are nothing but a burden to him.

This makes him sounds like a horrible person, but really, he is just at his wits ends. We have been married for almost 10 yrs and my mom has lived with us for probably 8 years of that. My kids are 20 and 19. My oldest has a baby, her boyfriend's mom and dad cut him off so he had nowhere to go, she is in college and he can't find a job and has never had one. SO..they all live with us. It's a fight to get them to do anything around the house or clean their own rooms.

Ugh, enough whining!

I will continue after my class.


So, now I am home from work. I went to the class, and it was pretty much what I expected. No surprises there. As soon as I got back to work, I emailed my doctor and told him I was ready to proceed. By the time I got home from work, he had emailed me back saying he had sent my referral over. I know all of this will slow down now that I am in the system, but it sure seems like it's happening fast. Personally, I love it. I have thought about this for a long time and am glad my sister in law got it done so that my husband would see that it is safe for me too.