I want to start this with saying I had a great time in Chicago and loved seeing everyone again (or for the first time).
For the last few weeks, I have been sliding headfirst into a very dark place. I first blamed it on stress, then the wedding, then the upcoming Chicago trip and anything else I could think of. Truth be told, I am depressed. Scarily so. I wake up at night in a panic because I just know that everyone would be better off if I wasn't here. I have these thoughts constantly right now. I know they will pass. I know I will not listen to them. I know that I will not do anything stupid or irrational. But the thoughts are there.
I have decided, I am closing my blog. I will leave it for a few days to say my goodbyes, but then I am deleting it. I will miss you all greatly. I will still text and be on facebook. I just can't put myself out here anymore. I feel like a fraud when I do post and I feel too guilty when I don't post. This was supposed to be a tool to help me work through things, but instead it is adding to the stress.
I want everyone to know, I wish you the absolute best and have nothing but love and admiration for you.
Thanks for being my friends.
For the last few weeks, I have been sliding headfirst into a very dark place. I first blamed it on stress, then the wedding, then the upcoming Chicago trip and anything else I could think of. Truth be told, I am depressed. Scarily so. I wake up at night in a panic because I just know that everyone would be better off if I wasn't here. I have these thoughts constantly right now. I know they will pass. I know I will not listen to them. I know that I will not do anything stupid or irrational. But the thoughts are there.
I have decided, I am closing my blog. I will leave it for a few days to say my goodbyes, but then I am deleting it. I will miss you all greatly. I will still text and be on facebook. I just can't put myself out here anymore. I feel like a fraud when I do post and I feel too guilty when I don't post. This was supposed to be a tool to help me work through things, but instead it is adding to the stress.
I want everyone to know, I wish you the absolute best and have nothing but love and admiration for you.
Thanks for being my friends.
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13 comments:
Stacey, it was an absolute pleasure getting to talk with you and kellie this weekend in chicago and you will truly be missed. You need to do what is best for you and if you ever want to talk, please feel free to email me anytime. Big hugs to you!
I just re-read this and I want to give you a super huge big virtual hug, Stacey. PLEASE keep in touch, ok?
Stacey, be well and know that you can come back whenever you feel like it. You have friends, reach out and we'll be here for you. Take good care of yourself.
(((HUGS)))
Please know that nothing could be further from the truth. This world is better WITH you. We will always be here for you if you chose to open the blog back up.
You have me worried. I understand if you need to close your blog, but please...if you are depressed, you need to seek help from your Doctor. Please don't suffer alone!!! Best of luck to you!
Big Hug!
We will always be here for you if you decide to come back. I hope you know that. We love you.
I love you forever. Don't ever leave me. Yanno, physically. Blogically, you're fine to leave anytime you want. If this is no longer fun, then fuck it!
Stacey...It's OK to not blog...I haven't blogged since May. When you are ready I will be here! I will miss you ! Our short time together last year started the connection.....don't go! You are in my thoughts and prayers!!
XO
I hear ya. I only blog when I want.
You should do what's best for YOU.
Want to meet up for coffee/starbucks soon? :) HUGS
What Ronnie said! Seriously, I had so much fun shopping with you and Kellie over the weekend (and stalking the half naked old couple from our room). I'm not surprised you're discontinuing the blog... but please keep in touch! And take care of yourself. (((HUGS)))
Hi Stacey! I don't blame you for ending the blog if you don't really like blogging, especially if you are able to keep the support through other venues (facebook, text, etc.) That sounds like a pretty smart solution.
However, your post concerns me. :-( I hope you will see a doctor if you haven't already. The level of pain you are experiencing, sounds very hard to endure. It can be hard to "will yourself" through things, when your brain chemistry is working against you. It's kind of like willing yourself out of having a migraine. You sound like you've been in a lot of pain for a long time. (((hug)))
I'm so sorry you feel this way. There is so much love for you out here!!! You have to do what is right for you, but I will miss reading your posts. Sending love!!
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